You know you've played too much IVAN when...

Dec 21, 2007, 2:11 pm
#1
Adorable Wolfie Pup


Joined: Dec 8, 2007
Occupation: Improvement.
Location: Existence.
Interests: Fulfillment.
Posts: 862
I'll start.

You slip on a banana peel and seriously injure yourself.
"If you want peace, prepare for war."
Dec 21, 2007, 6:02 pm
#2
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Posts: 184
You lose your own limbs and try to pray for replacements made of hair.
Dec 21, 2007, 8:06 pm
#3
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
You scream at people carrying bananas.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Dec 22, 2007, 1:26 am
#4
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Posts: 184
You eat zombies.
Dec 22, 2007, 3:03 am
#5
Master mine stomper


Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Occupation: Shoveling. But metal.
Location: Blazing in the steppes
Interests: Absolutely fuck-all.
Posts: 2,050
You spend looking for traces of mines for several minutes every time you take a step forwards.
Dec 22, 2007, 6:24 am
#6
Adorable Wolfie Pup


Joined: Dec 8, 2007
Occupation: Improvement.
Location: Existence.
Interests: Fulfillment.
Posts: 862
You aim a stick at your enemies and try to blow them up with it.
"If you want peace, prepare for war."
Dec 22, 2007, 10:19 am
#7
The Lord of the Sims


Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 610
You fight with hedgehogs and lose.
Dec 22, 2007, 3:19 pm
#8
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
You attempt to take on a bear with whips.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Dec 22, 2007, 4:08 pm
#9
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Occupation: Perfect Soldier
Location: Astragius Galaxy
Interests: Fiana, Peace, Melons
Posts: 1,057
You read some old parchment and expect your shirt to harden into a better material.
Dec 22, 2007, 6:29 pm
#10
Ex-Tyrant of the IVANers


Joined: Dec 8, 2007
Occupation: Junior Scientist
Location: Not California
Interests: Physics and Astronomy, Exoplanets, Singing praise to Valpurus while smashing skulls with a bloody warhammer, Jogging
Posts: 2,920
You find a flaming banana, and are confused when you eat it and don't get awesomer.
"Put more stuff in the... thing where... more stuff goes in."
Dec 22, 2007, 7:27 pm
#11
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Posts: 184
You start chucking stuff at a plant, thinking it'll bite your head off when, in all truth, its just a plant.
Dec 22, 2007, 9:54 pm
#12
Washing machine wizard


Joined: Dec 10, 2007
Location: End of the Universe
Interests: Plotting
Posts: 1,037
When you start searching an atlas looking for Attnam.
Dec 22, 2007, 10:53 pm
#13
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you eat your dog for breakfast.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Dec 22, 2007, 11:48 pm
#14
Washing machine wizard


Joined: Dec 10, 2007
Location: End of the Universe
Interests: Plotting
Posts: 1,037
When you buy bananas from your local green grocer and try and sell them to a supermarket.
Dec 23, 2007, 10:16 am
#15
Joined: Dec 2, 2007
Occupation: archmage
Location: Attnam
Interests: roguelikes
Posts: 375
When you see a moose and you are surprised that it has only one head.
Dec 23, 2007, 3:07 pm
#16
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you are suprised that throwing a whip doesn't work well.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Dec 24, 2007, 9:06 pm
#17
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Posts: 184
You try to throw knives, thinking your DIO Brando. Oh wait... Thats what I WISH was in IVAN...
Dec 24, 2007, 9:50 pm
#18
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
You kick someone and are suprised they don't try to kill you.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Feb 11, 2008, 11:32 am
#19
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Interests: programming and stuff
Posts: 16
When you get seriously surprised that people can move independent of you. O.o
Take that!
Feb 11, 2008, 12:33 pm
#20
Master mine stomper


Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Occupation: Shoveling. But metal.
Location: Blazing in the steppes
Interests: Absolutely fuck-all.
Posts: 2,050
You try to offer bananas and lamps at church, and get thrown out. You are surprised, that no-one comes chasing you with the Justifier when you start killing the priests.
Feb 11, 2008, 3:36 pm
#21
Adorable Wolfie Pup


Joined: Dec 8, 2007
Occupation: Improvement.
Location: Existence.
Interests: Fulfillment.
Posts: 862
You rub a lamp, and a genie comes out. As if that wasn't unbelievable for this modern world, it gives you one wish. When you try to attack it for not giving you three, it kills you with one swipe of its blade.
"If you want peace, prepare for war."
Feb 14, 2008, 11:42 pm
#22
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you see a corpse and start dousing it with acid to destroy it before it comes un-alive.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Feb 15, 2008, 12:59 am
#23
Joined: Jan 27, 2008
Location: Finland, preparing my kin to take over the forum.
Posts: 257
You find a ring and put it in your finger, hoping that it would be Ring of Teleportation.
Right, now you killed me. Happy?
Jul 18, 2009, 10:18 am
#24
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you expect skeletons to pop out of the ground around masked people.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Jul 19, 2009, 6:36 am
#25
Joined: Dec 11, 2008
Posts: 1,770
When you win IVAN...
System would indicate in graphic if person is mounted on horse or not.
Same system also show if person mounted on boar, elephant, polar bear etc.
Or if person mounted on ass.
Ivan find mounting on ass funny.
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