You know you've played too much IVAN when...

Jul 19, 2009, 7:26 am
#26
Master mine stomper


Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Occupation: Shoveling. But metal.
Location: Blazing in the steppes
Interests: Absolutely fuck-all.
Posts: 2,050
4zb4++ =D Oh, I'd forgotten about this thread. And thanks for bringing it up again, Chao!

...when you find several empty or half empty bottles containing f.ex. urine of unknown origin under your bed.

EDIT: Credits to where they belong to. I knew it was Chao!
Jul 19, 2009, 10:15 am
#27
Joined: Dec 4, 2007
Occupation: Perfect Soldier
Location: Astragius Galaxy
Interests: Fiana, Peace, Melons
Posts: 1,057
Actually, Chao brought it back.

When you find a cloak and you step on a landmine.

Oops!
Proudly bringing disaster and mental scarring to Attnam since '05!

"You have a rather pleasant chat about finite superarmpits with Sanae the shrine maiden."

You hear distant shuffling.

The Enner Beast tells you to COOL IT!!
Jul 20, 2009, 2:23 am
#28
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
I do believe I must second Erno. 4zb4++ indeed, that is true
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Jul 30, 2009, 3:53 pm
#29
Joined: Jun 18, 2008
Location: Winland
Posts: 60
...When you avoid magpies, fearing they'll steal your valuables and then peck your arms off if you don't have any.
Jul 31, 2009, 3:02 am
#30
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you take your best weapons to the botanical gardens, insisting that it's the best place to train.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Jul 31, 2009, 7:23 pm
#31
Joined: Jul 30, 2009
Occupation: Demiurge Prime
Location: Sol Complex
Interests: Universal Matrix Configuration
Posts: 64
When you'd rather pray to Seges than go to the fridge.
Aug 1, 2009, 1:09 am
#32
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you hoard sticks and bits of paper in boxes, insisting it's safer that way.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Aug 1, 2009, 4:05 am
#33
Joined: Jun 18, 2008
Location: Winland
Posts: 60
When you step in a bear trap in the woods, and wait for the bleeding to stop before trying anything.
Aug 1, 2009, 4:50 am
#34
Joined: Jan 25, 2008
Occupation: Turns out I can't have a cool avatar, I'll just put crap in it.
Location: 48kg / 105 lbs
Interests: My name is Failbert
Posts: 697
When mom asks you to kill that fugly big spider on the wall and you kill her with it's 'head'.
Well I assume that a bolt has a given, numeric, amouunt of perwer. (assi in enegri)... unless it's LAERSER SKISKLS POEWN PEWN!
Aug 2, 2009, 1:11 am
#35
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
When you stack junk in a row and point a length of wood at it hoping it'll change into something better.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Aug 2, 2009, 3:25 am
#36
Ex-Tyrant of the IVANers


Joined: Dec 8, 2007
Occupation: Junior Scientist
Location: Not California
Interests: Physics and Astronomy, Exoplanets, Singing praise to Valpurus while smashing skulls with a bloody warhammer, Jogging
Posts: 2,920
When you run out of money, so you take some books to the library and are confused when they won't pay you to drop them at the door, kick them outside, and then carry them back in.
"Put more stuff in the... thing where... more stuff goes in."
Aug 2, 2009, 5:06 am
#37
Joined: Jan 25, 2008
Occupation: Turns out I can't have a cool avatar, I'll just put crap in it.
Location: 48kg / 105 lbs
Interests: My name is Failbert
Posts: 697
When you discuss at length the art of sniping dangerous ducks with Dick Cheney.
Well I assume that a bolt has a given, numeric, amouunt of perwer. (assi in enegri)... unless it's LAERSER SKISKLS POEWN PEWN!
Aug 2, 2009, 6:33 am
#38
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Occupation: Master in C.Sc: Acquired, Job: Acquired, Imposter Syndrome: Acquired
Posts: 89
When you're extremely happy about finding a spider silk armor.
Aug 3, 2009, 1:22 am
#39
Joined: Dec 11, 2008
Posts: 1,770
When you read through random rolls of paper, hoping either that your arm turns to steel, or that you can use the loose change in your pocket to make a big hulking bodyguard.
System would indicate in graphic if person is mounted on horse or not.
Same system also show if person mounted on boar, elephant, polar bear etc.
Or if person mounted on ass.
Ivan find mounting on ass funny.
Aug 3, 2009, 6:24 am
#40
Joined: Jul 30, 2009
Occupation: Demiurge Prime
Location: Sol Complex
Interests: Universal Matrix Configuration
Posts: 64
When you are granted a wish by a genie, and instead of wishing for wealth, women, or power. You wish for a carrot.
Aug 3, 2009, 6:49 am
#41
Joined: Dec 3, 2007
Occupation: Chaos Weaver
Location: Standing between all life and death
Posts: 2,888
Hahaha, good one Leo.
Uchuudonge wrote
creating stable chaos
making patterns where there should be none
sewing order into the chaos
you spit in the face of random numbers, of chaos
Aug 3, 2009, 10:09 am
#42
Joined: Dec 2, 2007
Occupation: archmage
Location: Attnam
Interests: roguelikes
Posts: 375
In my experiences, there is something better to wish for than a carrot...

wish for a wand of polymorph, and polypile (zap it at a row of 5 stacks of 5 junk items each), you are very likely to obtain several carrots that way, and you also gain perception from zapping the wand itself.
Aug 3, 2009, 12:12 pm
#43
Joined: Apr 7, 2008
Location: USSR
Posts: 258
Thats a good one leo... lol
Aug 3, 2009, 2:17 pm
#44
Joined: Jan 25, 2008
Occupation: Turns out I can't have a cool avatar, I'll just put crap in it.
Location: 48kg / 105 lbs
Interests: My name is Failbert
Posts: 697
When You discard the sheer poetry of Leo's post and have nerdy thoughts like Z.

Although I kinda thought of the same.
Well I assume that a bolt has a given, numeric, amouunt of perwer. (assi in enegri)... unless it's LAERSER SKISKLS POEWN PEWN!
Aug 6, 2009, 4:42 am
#45
Joined: Jul 30, 2009
Occupation: Demiurge Prime
Location: Sol Complex
Interests: Universal Matrix Configuration
Posts: 64
When you find a jar of snot and the first thing you do is pour it into three different cans, each marked "Drink in case of material limbs, or spider webs".
Aug 7, 2009, 2:57 am
#46
Joined: Dec 11, 2008
Posts: 1,770
When you start drinking various animal fluids in a mad bid for power
System would indicate in graphic if person is mounted on horse or not.
Same system also show if person mounted on boar, elephant, polar bear etc.
Or if person mounted on ass.
Ivan find mounting on ass funny.
Aug 7, 2009, 10:46 am
#47
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Occupation: Master in C.Sc: Acquired, Job: Acquired, Imposter Syndrome: Acquired
Posts: 89
when you drop a magical bomb near all your banana-carrying donkeys and they all become mutant-asses.
Aug 7, 2009, 11:09 am
#48
Joined: Dec 2, 2007
Location: New Attnam
Interests: bananas
Posts: 2,299
what version of IVAN are you playing?
Aug 7, 2009, 9:05 pm
#49
Joined: Dec 11, 2008
Posts: 1,770
...AtomicIVAN?
Jks
System would indicate in graphic if person is mounted on horse or not.
Same system also show if person mounted on boar, elephant, polar bear etc.
Or if person mounted on ass.
Ivan find mounting on ass funny.
Aug 8, 2009, 10:21 am
#50
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Occupation: Master in C.Sc: Acquired, Job: Acquired, Imposter Syndrome: Acquired
Posts: 89
Me? Normal ^^ but i think kaethos says that they were originally using donkeys to carry their bananas but then someone dropped a magical bomb which mutated all the donkeys and so now they're using levitating ostriches instead
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