Worst fails

Here you can write your worst fails in Ivan.

Not exactly the worst fail I had, as it wasn't in regural gameplay, but I was fiddling in CLIVAN in wizmode, with stats upped to about 200 and physpher equipment, and decided to take on Petrus in fair fight, just to see how well would the more than triple stats than his and way better equipment would fare.

Petrus ended quardriplegic, and I, the living god, was decapitated by the archangel all of the sudden.

yeah, the wizard mode is sometimes very weird.

I use to carry lots of potions with me plus I modded some new ones in the game. I tried breaking a door and it exploded. all my bottles broke and I got covered in poison, healing liquid, vomit, sulfuric acid, troll blood, water, dragon drool, mustard gas, stun gas, brown gas (bottled fart), etc. My character agonized for some turns melting down, growing new limbs, suffocating, vomiting and finally dying in a pool of blood and other disgusting liquids.

That's hilarious and so appropriate for this game

I remember once I was fighting an orc and it severed one of my arms off. After the fight, I prayed to one of the gods and it gave me a banana flesh arm... I couldn't even raise a dagger with it. It eventually got severed off and I ended up eating it.

I rise!
now im dead again....

the greatest and saddest failure I've ever experienced was

I was going around that dwarven minefield
when that mutant bunny I ate earlier gave me more then heartburn....
I randomly poly-morphed into a bunny....
around 250 hp down to a measly 5hp...
I hop once.....nothing
I hop twice.....nothing
I hop trice......ka-boom

not just one ka-boom
my wands then went ka-blowwheee
and then my scrolls when whoosh!
my poor mangled rabbit body was thrown across the minefield and hit a few more mines before I finally stopped dead and was taken by the sweet embrace of death....

I'd say all the gods really enjoyed that moment.

I ate tons of bananas and dropped some clutter items I didn't need all in the same spot. After ages of not playing the game I came back and load the game. Eventually, I got hurt bad and I started to run away. I ran thru that tile like http://i.imgur.com/PYTzAoa.gif

I died. The end.

I posted this in the shoutbox but this one is worth remembering:

I found TWO lamps in UT1 and UT2. Both had genies and both granted me wishes. (If it were later in the game I would've waited for safety in Attnam but this early I just risk it)

The second one I wished for a wand of polymorph, piled up some items, and prepared to zap... but the game mocked me for having nothing to zap with.

So I scrolled through my message history and saw that I had accidentally wished for a RING of polymorph not a wand. Facepalm. He died pretty quickly in UT3

Just Defeated Elupuri. Left banana peels for patrol gaurds to fall on, hehehehe.... Headed back to new attnam. Very well geared. In the open world got poly'd into a gibberling. Entered town, slipped on a banana peel and died,

fml that took two days inbetween phone calls at work and no save scumminh

Oh that's awful D: This was .50.9 yes?

I recently lost a promising character on GC3. I found a big mine. I didn't want the thing, but I figured I could use it to blast a hole in a wall and maybe find goodies, so I planted it. Quickly tapped left twice to get away.

Unfortunately I was confused. The first step had me step RIGHT. The second step went as planned. "You here a thump. You look down. You see a big mine."

Just today, I YASD'd as stupidly as I could. :/

I lacked both ESP and infravision, so I couldn't find the mystic dark frog on GC 7 and started to get swarmed by enemies made invisible by her. But I had both ring of polymorph and polycontrol, so I decided to poly into a form which could locate invisible foes.

I could have gone with some ghost, but for whatever reason I decided on greater dark frog instead - and only after the poly I remembered that frogs cannot zap wands, so I will have to melee the mystic frog. I found the mystic frog, but got panicked by damage from a wolf. I had very few options left, so I tried praying to Silva - and the earthquake squiched the mystic dark frog, yay!

I was very low on HP, but I had plenty of healing liquid left, so I tried drinking some, but got interrupted by a bunny of all monsters. It critted me to 1 HP exactly, I couldn't risk trying to finish drinking and giving in another turn on me. So I ran - I was faster than it, so I hoped to finish the drink after I run away.

I made two steps and didn't notice the broken bottle on the floor: "Ouch! You step on a sharp glass. You die..."

My first time dying to a broken bottle. :'(

An elaborate chain of events. Whenever I'm in a similar situation, I always get that rude feeling like my character is not getting out of it alive.

Ok I guess it wasn't a mistake after all. I just wished for a wand of polymorph again and was given a ring. Are wands of polymorph not wishable?

Maybe it happened since the new aliases were added?

Yes, that's my fault.

I just checked and it's because I added "polymorph" alias to the ring. For some reason, when you wish for "wand of polymorph", the game ignores the wand part and uses only polymorph, which defaults to the ring because of my alias. Removing the alias fixes the issue and the game will recognize both ring and wand wishes.
Weird.

Not sure if this qualifies as a fail but I grossly underestimated a nymph hair golem

Had all of my limbs chopped off within the space of 2 turns. So I was unable to zap. Only option really was prayer, but I didn't know Sophos even though I was lawful so I couldn't get teleported. I tried Legifer to see if he could blow the golem up but he didn't help. Last resort was drinking some troll blood but got decapitated while I was drinking.

I have a couple of ones:

1-Tried dropping a bottle of sulfuric acid without realizing i had accidentally turned on caps lock.

2-Once I found a ommel tooth long sword in UT1, then in UT2 I find an altar dedicated to Loricatus, I decide to pray to him, but Loricatus was in a bad mood that day, and ended up turning my sword into banana flesh.

3-I also once found an ommel tooth platemail in UT3, it was pretty good, until it rotted, after that I was quickly killed by a skeleton of a kamikaze dwarf wielding a bastard sword.

Ah yeah, I remember first discovering ommel tooth platemail. So exciting... then you start to notice the flies but you're not sure why... then suddenly it's gone when you need it most

will pets eat mirrored food?

Wow, I was completely annihilated by my own angel.

I got an angel from sacrificing to Cruentus and we were steamrolling through GC. But when I needed to return to Attnam to sell my loot, my angel ran after a siren. The siren survived the first round with only some lost limbs and brainwashed my angel, turning her hostile!

Well, before I got a turn, my angel disabled both my arms. No wands for me. I tried to pray to Nefas for a mistress to use as a meat shield while I tactically run the hell away, but she gave me a new arm instead. Unfortunately, the arm didn't make it through the next angel's attack, so still no wands. I tried praying to Cruentus even though his prayer timeout was not enough, but he liked me enough to try to help anyway. He managed to scare the siren, but not his own angel...

Next turn, I was only a torso and a head, 3 HP left. Then my wonderful angel beheaded me.

I didn't know sirens could turn your pets against you, nice!

Neither did I. I wouldn't have let my angel anywhere near that siren otherwise!

Ouch, that's pretty nasty...

Makes me think that Siren songs could benefit from a Charisma check, a la Dulcis or a lyre of charm. Otherwise you'll keep losing those angels limbs...