How the fuck do mushrooms smell?
Let me backtrack for a moment. Magic mushrooms. Bane of many an adventurer's lives. Once these foul creatures have infested a level it becomes a wasteland, hazardous to any who enter. A place where lingering for more than strictly necessary can be fatal.
Why does this occur? Two reasons: One, magic mushrooms multiply. This is perfectly OK. Mushrooms are known to do this sort of thing. Two, they produce clouds of magic bubbles which cause numerous magical effects: invisibility, levitation, teleportitis, and most dangerous of all, polymorphitis. The mushrooms beset themselves and their clones with these powers, causing the infestation to spread unpredictably around the level, quickly spiraling out of control, until mushrooms begin transforming into things like octiron golems and orc marshals.
Status-effect-causing clouds are common in IVAN. There's mustard gas, skunk smell, farts, and two different colors of magical bubbles. Fortunately for the player, who might want to avoid such things, there exists a protection: Occasionally, while eating normal mushrooms, you can gain an immunity to all gasses, with the following message:
Which brings me back to my original statement: How the fuck do mushrooms smell?
The same goes for carnivorous plants. And golems, skeletons, and all manner of other creatures (which I'm only assuming are not immune to smells).
I guess what I'm saying is, it's time to end the tyranny of magic mushrooms. It's time someone went into the code and removed their noses.