Vermis

The runed spear named Vermis is a kinky weapon, by it's strange desire to control teleportation. This is shown by it giving the wielder teleporting state and telecontrol, and also by randomly teleporting away enemies that are hit with it. The last ability sounds nicer than it really is; when you have finally managed to get that Rondol to panic, your weapon teleports him away to heal and re-engage.

Also easily wielded with one hand.

Vermis
Category	Polearms
Type	the runed spear named Vermis
Weight	910g
Damage	6-11
Material	Diamond with Oaken handle
Effect	Grants the wielder teleportitis and telecontrol, plus randomly sends struck enemies on a sudden journey.
Accuracy	Highly accurate
Sturdiness	Very strong
Notes	-

Trivia

• Vermis is part of the brain that controls motoric functions, thus the name of an artifact controlling teleportation.

Bedtime Stories of Grandpa Ischaldirh

Fiction: This page is a work of fiction by Ischaldirh

High in the mountains, just beyond the borders of the Attnamese empire, lies a great temple to Sophos. The Sophite monks who live here are part scholar, part knight-errant: their holy duty is to seek and preserve knowledge and wisdom. Below the temple are it's crypts, where beside the remains of the greatest of their number are stored the Sophites most valued treasures: neigh-endless shelves bearing books, tomes, scrolls and maps beyond counting. Some say that lost somewhere deep in this library lies a tome containing the secret of immortality - a prize truly worthy of Cleptia!

But simply entering the crypts is neigh impossible, for all but the most dedicated Sophites are barred from entry by a dozen guards, six massive puzzle doors, and an old man known only as the Riddler. So lets forget about the crypts for now.

Instead lets talk about Karl, one of the greatest Sophites to ever live. Karl was just a boy when found, apparently abandoned by his parents when he was only 19 years old. The old Sophite scholar-knight who found him recognized Karl's gifts when he was seen cooking the Holy Meal of Sophos, a difficult to master, secret recipe passed down by word of mouth from one Chief Temple Food Preparer to his successor for hundreds of years: fried banana, boiled ostrich meat, and salt. Yet Karl had cooked the meal with no such instruction! Clearly here was one favored by Sophos!

After some persuasion and a sharp blow to the head, Karl returned with the old priest to the Temple of Sophos, where he underwent training to become a monk. He rose through the ranks rather quickly, and before he was 50 he was the fifth-highest-ranked member of the Martial Order of Wisdom, the military arm of the Temple. His exploits in the intervening years could fill a dozen thick books - the Quest for the Lost Scroll of Gnih Ton, the Voyage Across the Mighty River Pieni, the Journey to the Super Market, the Confrontation with the Cashier, and many more - but we'll only concern ourselves with his last mission: to find the secret of creating Iced Cream and bring it back to the Temple.

This was a dangerous mission, far beyond the lands he was used to. He would have to travel to a dry land, where there was no snow, and it only rained 130 days out of the year. Fortunately, Karl was a grown man by now, with a body grown strong from defending his faith and carrying groceries. He also a master of the art of Keihäs-Käyttö, the ancient Sophite spear-fighting (or at least, spear-fishing) tradition, and an expert survivalist. And, to aid him on his mission, the High Priest of Sophos gave him a new suit of hardened leather armor, and a finely crafted oaken spear with a blade of diamond which the temple craftsmen had been unable to sell to a visiting nobleman. Thusly equipped, Karl set off on the greatest adventure of his life.

He first traveled to the small villiage of ... what's that? What? You're BORED?! Already? Alright, alright, fine! I'll cut to the end. Damn kids...

Karl eventually found the land of the Iced Cream Men and learned their secrets. But on the way back to the temple, he became lost in the strange lands. As his supplies began to dwindle, he realized he had to contact Sophos and give him the knowledge of Iced Cream before he died. So he built an altar to Sophos, and consecrated it with the blood of a Troll, that vile, knowledge-hating race so common in the south-lands. The sacrifice complete, he knelt at the altar and prayed.

He heard the soft, deep, rumbling voice of his god.

"What knowledge dost thou bringest me, mortal?"

"O Wise One! O Holy Mind! I bring to you the methods of making Iced Cream, that you may preserve these secrets for eternity!"

"Thou art the first to travel to the south-lands, and return with knowledge of Iced Cream. Teacheth me, Mortal, and be named my Champion!"

So Karl taught Sophos how to make a tasty, frozen treat. As a reward, Sophos enchanted Karl's diamond-bladed spear with powers over space and time, and named it Vermis. Karl knew he was saved - with this spear, and his highly-trained mind, he simply teleport back to the temple, where food was abundant!

But it was not to be. Infuscor, jealous of the knowledge of Iced Cream, turned Karl into a kobold when he picked up Vermis. Karl promptly teleported himself deep underground in an attempt to escape the sunlight, where he probably stepped on a land mine left over from the Dwarven Wars and was killed. The spear Vermis was never seen again.

There. You happy now? You made me skip over all the good bits. Now go to sleep, it's past your bed time. I don't care if the sun's still up, it's bed time is when I say it's bed time! Scram!

Where did I leave that whiskey...