Holy Banana of Oily Orpiv

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The Holy banana of Oily Orpiv is a nice thing to have in hand. It is one of the unique items in IVAN. It has several uses:

When eaten, it acts as all the ommel-extracts together (ommel cerumen, ommel tears, ommel sweat and ommel snot), thus boosting all the stats up by 1 point. It will also give you Overfed status for a very long time.

When in a great peril, it can be zapped. What, why so surprised, everybody knows that a banana is zapable! It acts as a wand of fireballs and always has 6 charges.

When carried around, it emits strong light, thus making a good light source. Well, you can probably find out a better way to use it, cant you?

Explosives. Put it next to an active mine to attract monsters. When he steps on the mine, the banana goes off giving that little extra damage you needed to bring him down. But it's a waste to use it as a decoy.

History of the Holy banana

Fiction: This page is a work of fiction by squashmonster


Oily Orpiv was a former champion of Mellis, the leader of a vast commercial empire. He traded in many goods, as any true follower of Mellis would, but his empire began the greater part of its rise when on a commercial expedition he discovered a small village that never developed technology because they never had to deal with the hardships of agriculture (and enraged overworked draft animals) because of a seeming miracle crop. Oily Orpiv had discovered the banana. Being a true follower of Mellis, he subjugated the people and turned them into a highly efficient banana plantation and a massive trade infrastructure to support shipping the bananas. Due to the novelty of the new food, he turned a quick profit that he soon used as capital for the rest of his business ventures.

Because bananas were ultimately what resulted in his success, Oily Orpiv saved the third banana he ever saw (he ate the first and sold the second claiming it was the first) as a keepsake. He happened to be holding it when he became the champion of Mellis, and as a gift Mellis imbued the banana with many powers.