Nude pickles?! How shameless! Are you trying to turn this into a porn game?!

I shall give you my blessings for this endeavour.

Randomly remembered the spam monster idea, wondered which forum that was at and did a search.

[2009-11-22 23:53:32] <Somagu> I think a better idea would be a small chance for a "scroll of wishing" to be a unique scroll that summons a 4x4 tile spam unique
[2009-11-22 23:53:41] <Chao-Chao> XD
[2009-11-22 23:53:42] <Somagu> which shoots out bolts of lightning and spams your text bar
[2009-11-22 23:53:48] <Somagu> and when you kill it it drops a bunch of cans of spam
[2009-11-22 23:53:49] <Chao-Chao> dude
[2009-11-22 23:53:53] <Chao-Chao> spamming your text bar
[2009-11-22 23:53:55] <Chao-Chao> that's brilliant
[2009-11-22 23:54:17] <Chao-Chao> how will you rape spam though
[2009-11-22 23:54:34] <Somagu> good question

For context, search this forum.

Also, a more serious idea, based on the fact lanterns make surprisingly good shields.

Caged Star

A primal relic, very rare. Made of mythril, but since it only holds energy it's very light despite how big it is. Makes an excellent light source and shield. However, if it happens to break it will go supernova.

So this is very rare. Valpurium flaming sword rare. Every turn, it takes damage from within, which contributes to its eventual breaking. Don't go turning it into balsa or anything though, or it'll go off in your hands. When it breaks, first there'll be a crackle of energy (lightning explosion), followed by the cage itself bursting apart (striking explosion), then the supernova, a series of explosions from smallest to largest.

This has already been suggested.

If I remember rightly hattifatteners don't trigger hostile responses. I've done some testing in the past, though that was years back.

I believe they're carved out of digital suffering.

As far as range goes... How about a throwing skill?

So I randomly had an idea last night, of a Dwarf Fortress Castle, or DC for short, ruled by Supe Soup, the Dwarf of Steel. Those commanders that veteran kamikazes mention? There's three of them, Batt (who will tell you he's working on the Batballoon Mk II, the first one having popped on its maiden voyage), Wander (who uses whips), and Flashy (the fastest dwarf around).

As Attnam is inhabited by hunters, farmers and housewives, DC is inhabited by wrestlers (who have competitions about wrestling pants off), miners (equipped with pickaxes), and retired kamikazes (who have missing limbs).

The town boasts a shop, a tavern run by a gruff barkeep where you can see (dwarf) strip shows, and a forge that basically works as a SoCM so long as you have said raw material and the item you wish to reforge. You want a valpurium flaming sword? Bring your flaming sword and a lump of valpurium. There's also a factory where they manufacture backpacks, mines and grenades, as well as bear traps and lanterns (where do you think they all come from?).

How do you find this place? Well, you need a rare, green crystal lantern (can you make one with SoCM or not?) and take it to Sparky in Attnam, the retired kamikaze dwarf with no legs and balls of steel. He'll tell you where to find it!

Hm? I thought the requirements were wearing the shirt and being champion of Valpurus. Am I misremembering?

Might be a good idea to put something in-game that lets players know the nut and the shirt are incompatible to avoid this in future.